Tips To Talk To Your Teenage Kids
- by WONDERMOM
- Sept. 8, 2022
As children enter adolescence, things might become somewhat more challenging. One of the advantages is that they are more self-aware and autonomous, but this might cause them to doubt that you have their best interests at heart. They may get irritable, fight, hide in their rooms, and act out in general. Typically, these behaviours result from your adolescent’s inability to completely communicate their complicated feelings, causing them to either burst or remain mute. This type of behaviour is not exactly beneficial to resolving the underlying issue. There are, thankfully, a number of methods we may use to communicate with our adolescents and for them to communicate with us.
TRY TO COMPREHEND
The most effective technique to initiate such a conversation with your adolescent is to strive to comprehend their perspective. Despite the fact that their viewpoint may seem unusual or nonsensical to you, you must recognise that this is indeed how they feel.
Teenagers often keep certain aspects of their life private. What’s going on at school, turmoil in the buddy group, and assignment-related tension may all be bottled up, such that we don’t hear about them until they all explode. Your adolescent is likely coping with far more than it seems. And everything they are facing may look much larger to them than to you. Consequently, their priorities may at times seem very misplaced. However, recognise that there may be more to these circumstances than meets the eye and that they are trying their best to manage them.
Regarding the vocabulary you use while discussing these topics, indicate that you understand and avoid using negative terms such as “but.” Explain that you understand their point of view and are eager to assist them figure it out, while still prioritising some of the things you believe more essential. Thus, they will feel supported, and you will be able to guide them along a better route.
IT’S NOT PERSONAL
Try your hardest not to get very emotional while communicating with your teenager. Try not to see their words and actions as a personal assault, and maintain your composure. This may be quite difficult, particularly if you are really dissatisfied with what they have done or the words they have said. But holding emotions at bay is far more likely to result in a peaceful resolution to this disagreement.
Remember that your youngster is likely doing the best they can with the abilities they has. They may have made a mistake, been in trouble at school, neglected to do their responsibilities, or any number of other things. Your responsibility is to assist your adolescent in making a better choice. Certainly, you may discuss the negative repercussions of their conduct with them, but avoid turning it into a lecture. Inform them that you are with them and will support them.
Whenever possible, regard this component of parenting as labour. It is unpleasant, but it must be completed. If you can adopt this mentality, things should flow somewhat more smoothly.
BE GENUINE
One of the most important guidelines in these circumstances is to always be sincere, kind, and loving. During a quarrel is not the ideal moment to begin divulging information and interrogating your kid. Either they will match your level of argumentation or they will totally shut down, leaving the matter unsolved and the relationship strained.
Many parents express their inability to comprehend why their kid makes the errors they do, such as forgetting to set their alarm for school or leaving their dirty clothes on their desk. Some parents are apprehensive to ask their adolescent serious questions to better comprehend “what went wrong.”
Consider carefully how you frame these inquiries, and always keep love and courtesy in mind. Ask your kid if they have any suggestions on how to address the issue or how to handle the situation better next time. If they do not believe they know the solution, comfort them and provide your own recommendations in a kind manner. Inform them that you have faith in their ability to address their own difficulties and that you will be there as a backup if necessary. Try not to tread on their toes, and resolve issues before your kid is affected. They must see that you regard them as competent and autonomous. Through this encounter, you will teach your adolescent the crucial capacity of independent thought.
SURPASS MANIPULATION
There is a potential that your adolescent will exploit the fact that you need them to behave well in order to feel good against you. They may conceal their caring nature, act out and irritate you, or attempt to fool you by acting kind, supporting, and courteous. All of this is possible in an effort to get their desired result. It is essential not to allow oneself to be exploited in this manner. You may become caught in the push-pull dynamic of attempting to punish your adolescent while simultaneously trying to pacify them if you allow it to happen. It is much better to rise above the situation. Attempt to engage your adolescent from a position of strength.