High Expectations: Nurturing a Child’s Self-Worth
- by WONDERMOM
- Oct. 25, 2023
Hello to all the fab mums and lovely guardians out there!
Ever found yourself unintentionally setting the bar a tad too high for your little ones? It happens to the best of us. Whether it’s a casual “Why not an A+ instead of an A?”, or comparing their milestones with other kids, sometimes our expectations can inadvertently affect a child’s self-worth. Let’s chat about it, shall we?
High Expectations vs Reality
Remember your child’s first steps? Or the first time they said, “Mummy!”? Every milestone felt like a mini miracle, and we clapped and cheered. But as they grow, it’s all too easy to forget how each step is still a massive achievement in their world. The shift from unbridled joy to the “you could do better” mindset can really chip away at a child’s self-worth.
1. The Pressure Cooker Effect
Kids are a lot like sponges. They soak up our words, our behaviors, our expectations. Set the bar sky-high, and you might see them stretching, often too hard, to reach it. The immense pressure to always be the best, or to be something they’re not naturally inclined to, can make them feel they’re never good enough. This not only diminishes a child’s self-worth but can also hinder their genuine growth and curiosity.
2. Fear of Failure
No one likes to tumble, especially not in front of an audience. When we place overly high expectations, kids can develop an intense fear of failing or making mistakes. The thought process? “If I can’t be the best, then why try at all?” This fear can stop them from exploring new things, taking risks, and most importantly, learning from their mishaps.
3. Comparison isn’t Always a Joy
We’ve all had those friendly “my child vs your child” chats. But continuous comparison can make kids feel they’re in a constant race. When they start measuring their worth based on how they stack up against peers, a child’s self-worth can take a hit. Remember, every child is unique, with their own strengths and pace.
4. Seeking External Validation
The need to always please can become a dominating force in their life. If they’re constantly striving to meet high expectations, they might start seeking validation for every tiny thing. While it’s natural to want applause, relying solely on external approval can make it challenging for them to value themselves intrinsically.
Now, while reading the above, if you’ve found yourself nodding or murmuring, “Oh crumbs!”, don’t worry. Parenting is a journey, and there’s always room for tweaking and learning. A balance of encouragement and realistic expectations can do wonders for a child’s self-worth.