This year has truly been despondent and filled with melancholy. Just six months in and the world is going through – Global health crisis, right from the news of Irfan Khan passing away wasn’t devastating enough that it followed with another shocker of veteran actor Rishi Kapoor’s demise which left Bollywood and all the fans at a loss for words and now this – Sushant Singh Rajput….
Prodigiously talented 34-year-old Sushant has indeed left a dark and gnawing gap behind and besides that – “A Legacy”. Scrolling through floods of messages from the netizens, cinema as well as sports fraternity, all are deeply dismayed by his shocking departure. It was his portrayal in all the characters, right from Pavitra Rishta to movies that won the actor many accolades.
Keeping all this aside and with a heavy heart today, I finally decided to tap into this never-ending gale of – Depression, Mental Health, Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts …
Coz it’s High time we Address the (Un) Addressed – Period.
Something we all know deep within but never came to terms with is that – The only thing certain in life is – “Ambiguity”. When, the waves of depression can wash one away no one knows. It could be right from losing a loved one, getting fired from a job, going through a divorce, and I am pretty sure there will be a lot more that could be added to this list all the unforeseen grim situations can lead a person to feel gloomy, secluded and scared. I know you must be thinking that these feelings are regular reactions to life’s stressors. Right .. ???
In this so-called virtual age where we claim to be so fiercely connected yet alone. Those screaming evidence dying to reach out to each other, it is pain that keeps us awake, it is pain that works as a glue and it is this pain that’s floating around made me put pen to paper both literally and metaphorically. Depression is debilitating, as the feeling sometime is very inadequate that starts with emptiness which eventually flowers into this pervasive inadequacy that shadows everywhere. This is not just a biochemical disorder that’s genetically passed on, No … it’s Not …
No one knows and no one will ever know what exactly spiraled her or him into the abyss of depression. There used to be a lot of ignorance about this thing called – “Mental Disorder” it’s something that nobody wanted to talk back then, but today we talk candidly about something called as – “Mood Disorder” and in fact the digital age that we are in, I urge each and everyone to make appropriate use of this platform to address it, as having “Psychological Triggers“ has nothing to do with what happens to one on a single day that will plunge someone into months of feeling Lonely and Depressed.
You never know who and where among you in that mall or on the swarming street is battling depression, among most of us who are feeling great reverie there might be someone out there who might be feeling damn low in the middle of all the happy faces, feeling the sting of almost suicidal, or even that feeling of walking into the ocean and never come back thinking of – What would be lost to mankind ??
I am sure, we all have that one person who gives us that strength, that one person who you can walk up to anytime or dial that persons number and simply say that – Listen, I’m feeling like shit and it’s completely okay to feel like that, in fact we all feel the same at times or may be most of the time. All of us have rambled at some point in our lives whether it was the spiral into alcoholism or as simple as not wanting to socialize. Well, melancholy is one of my greatest friends 😉 and I don’t really try to escape from that coz, Happiness is simply glorified, and people try to bullshit about being happy most of the time, while they are miserable inside. Well for me, when I’m miserable I say I am and trust me the feeling simply goes away, so I really want to say this loud and clear without fabricating things –
“Internal bleeding is far more perilous, coz even joy becomes a burden when you simply can’t laugh” and trust me it’s not at all funny for your insides to hear your loved ones – Considering Suicide.
It’s not appropriate to ask a person to why they are depressed as I’m sure the person them self is battling the same question day in and day out in their head and there is this fallacy that rich people can’t be depressed, Sweetheart !! whether you’re rich or poor, black or white, child or an adult everyone goes through the throws of depression. We are yet to find answers that could cater depression and we should teach our kids to speak up rather than glossing it, to simply fit in this well fabricated society that we live in, teach them to evolve not succumb to the pressure of the society and ruin one’s life. Depression is not just a passing feeling of “Being Sad” and you can’t just “Snap out of it” but a medical condition that can and must be treated.
Suicidal thoughts can vary from person to person and how a person feels at any given time. They can be passive like, “I wish I were dead” or active like, “I must kill myself now.” In some cases, the suicidal thought is present for just a second or two while others may have thoughts that they can’t get to leave their mind. These thoughts may be uncomfortable. Depression and panic attacks can hit you at work, in your car, at a party, shopping center, or even at a club. Some days could be good .. great in fact and you almost feel like you’re better, then something small occurs a look from someone or a memory that could turn you into a mess. Trust me depression is not fun, it’s not a game, and it’s not a quirk to add to your personality because you think it’s cool.
Depression is grave and most importantly ugly it doesn’t just disappear; you don’t suddenly wake up and decide not to feel hopeless. It’s okay to cry and yeah, it’s perfectly okay to be weak. We all can get hurt and feel the hollowness, don’t give up instead figure it out, I would say mourn, cry your heart out and ruin your mascara, stop playacting, unmask yourself, breakdown if you are tired. If you feel like you’re distressed with thoughts of suicide, please reach out for help to get you back to yourself again.
With all the added stress of COVID – 19, it’s imperative to check-in on the mental health of those we care about. Social isolation is our new daily routine, and the unending qualms about COVID-19 are adding a new set of stressors to everyone’s lives. During these times, with everyone trying to stay indoors as much as possible, it’s easy for people to pull themselves out further from society and insulate themselves so ensure that a helping hand is extended to help that someone or anyone combat this. Sending messages once a day or every other day to ask what he’s been up to or setting up weekly video calls even though it’s not the same as seeing someone in person, when possible video calls are a great way to see and hear each other and feel better connected 😊.
In order to destigmatize, educate and help youth struggling with mental health and break down the blockades impacting health care. “You being shattered or depressed doesn’t define you as an individual; in fact your strength and courage does” – So if you’re someone who has been struggling with mental illness please do me this favor and say this out loud to yourself, and imbibe this as an absolute truth in your life that you are NOT ALONE, and there are so many people out there who love you and are willing to help you get back on your feet! So chin up you gorgeous souls, put those battle armors on and take charge and seek help by talking to your loved ones or if you like reading, I would say yes please go ahead and read as it will broaden your perception on mental health.
Mental health is and will always remain a sensitive topic in India and its high time a much-needed open dialogue about mental health needs to be incorporated, as it will help several people and their loved ones confront their own struggles and seek help by exterminating this constant pressure to fit in trying to please everyone around but hiding all the pain with a smile.
In case an unchaperoned thought passes your mind, all you need to do is – Talk … Weep buckets …. Scream …. but once done, please ASK FOR HELP!!!
Having said this, I read a lot of quotes about “Depression” but this one predominantly was “Check Mate”