The perspective to look at single parenting is changing drastically. Single parents are not seen as depressed and hapless individuals. They are considered to be strong and determined. Parenting being challenging in itself, single parenting can be tumultuous. The effects of which can be seen if single parenting is observed. It can bring some refreshing changes in the kids and parents while also taking a toll on them. Parents who are going through separation and divorce might be struggling with the thought of single parenting. Their utmost worry or concern is only for their kids. Most parents don’t want the kids to suffer. But the children do go through their share of turmoil in such sensitive situations.It is a tricky road especially when the parent feels indirectly responsible for making the child go through the tough time only because of their inability to save the marriage. There are can negative and positive effects of single parenting depending upon the overall handling of the circumstances.
Let’s look at the negative effects of single parenting for better understanding.
When you are single parent, you are the only earning member in the family making it difficult to meet the expenses. The standard of living can be hugely affected with separation. The finances have to be reworked to suit your earning. The children might have to sacrifice along with you although you don’t want them to. If your partner is willing to contribute despite the separation, then the situation can be less tensed. In such situation if you are the lone member earning all you need to do is have patience and have faith and belief that every situation with time.
2. Emotional Issues
No matter how many differences you have with your partner, the kids will always love both parents equally. For them it is hard to give up on one of the parents. To not be able to live with both parents together in one home is heartbreaking to the kids. Unless there is complete detachment with one of the parent, then it becomes quite easy for the child but otherwise this can be the most challenging phase for the child, thus for the parents too. The emotional closeness with both parents is affected and the equations within the family change. Also, it may happen that the child may not be able to express freely fearing to hurt the parents if they are of an understandable age, if they are too little to express it can be more difficult for them because they might hurt but won’t know what to do about it. Sometimes the child may start falsely believing that the reason behind the separation is them. They suffer from low esteem and low confidence as they grow up. The might doubt themselves more often than not. They also might compare their friends households to theirs and feel sad for not having the ideal set up at their home. They might draw some hurtful conclusions and live in a stressed state of mind.
3.Less quality time with each other
Being a single parent will keep the parent occupied more, because none of the day to day responsibilities are shared. The complete burden falls on one parent leaving no time for them to spend with their child. Also due to the newly developed financial crunch they have to work for longer hours and might have to take odd jobs further affecting their schedule, leaving no time to spend with their kids. In order to make time the parents can involve their kids in some of their responsibilities, like they can go to fetch the groceries together, do the laundry together or cook a meal together, this can give them a chance: to spend quality time with each other while getting the tasks done!
4.Feeling of abandonment
No matter how hard you try to make the arrangement easier for your child,they are bound to feel abandoned by one of the parents. The parent who spends only a day in a month or a week will make them feel like they aren’t loved enough or cared for enough.
5.Time with both parents
In cases of separation and divorce the arrangement is generally such that the child stays with one of the parents and meets the other parent weekly once or as decided at the time of divorce. The child almost never spends spends time with both parents together. This also can be a painful for the child. When the child knows that the parents can never be together, they silence their wishes and keep it to themselves adding to their stress.
The child may suffer from loss of focus and concentration due to the separation resulting them to perform poorly at school, sport or other activities they might be doing with. interest. Simple tasks also can be challenging. The child may feel complete loss of interest in doing anything. They might feel like doing anything and just be left on their own This can be frightening for the parents and might leave them clueless. Both parents needs to handle such a situation with affection and care. They will have to gradually make the child feel secure despite the situation.
There is a possibility of the feeling of resentment and abandonment the child might be feeling towards the parents can make them rebellious. They may become arrogant and rude. This rebellious act is defense mechanism the child might develop to deal with the difficulties. They become withdrawn and angry making them more and more self centred. The parents must act with patience and not expect the child to change without creating an atmosphere they can breathe in with comfort without feeling judged.
The negative effects of single parenting are moreover unavoidable but with attention to minute observations of your child’s changing moods, behaviour and body language you can help your child to deal with the situation better. Confronting the problem and talking about it clearly can give an outlet to the stress that has been mounting in such pressure filled atmosphere. Some of the positive effects of single parenting are as follows 1.Relationship strengthens The individual band between the child and the parent strengthen when. the child tends to spend time with them separately. The single parent becomes the sole person to fulfill all kinds of needs of your child. If the parent realizes the weight of this role then the child will grow up to be a responsible and considerate individual who isn’t judgemental.
2.Sense of responsibility
The children of single parents see the struggle of their parents in order to make ends meet, being the sole earners single parents often have to juggle a lot of things for the children and the house. The child is constantly observing this which gives them a sense of responsibility and they tryand help as much as they can. They develop a sense of responsibility without any preaching or coaxing from the parents.
3.Healthy home atmosphere
Most parents believe that it is always better to avoid a separation for the sake of the kids and so they keep on living together. But in such cases the damage done is more than n case of separation. The kids are constantly witness to the bitterness their parents feel for each other. The arguments, the fights happen in front of the kids. Even though they might not be present while a fight, the vibe floats. So in the house where a single parent is bringing up the child it is much sorted, because the parents are living together resulting to a calm situation. The parents have accepted the facts and moved on that is a relieving factor.
4.Learning to face difficulties early on
Going through a separation or adivorce is anything but easy. The child and the parents both go through tough times together, the child learn to deal with adversity quite early in life and they become mentally stronger to face any situation that in future.
5.Learning to prioritize better
Single parents have to prioritize with optimum skill because in a limited time span they have to take over many responsibilities. They have to decide between very important and important and work accordingly. The kids also learn from parents to juggle and manage priorities very early in face such situations in life.
6.Sense of maturity
The kids who face such a situation develop a sense of maturity earlier than the other kids. They realize the need of the hour and want to support their parents in whatever way they can. They learn to grow out of their beliefs and learn to look at life without any preconceived notions. They learn to accept a situation that might not be comfortable for them but learn to accept it and move on.
Single parents often get genuinesupport from grandparents, relatives and friends. It is often said that it takes a village to raise a child. Single parenting makes this possible. The positive influence of so many people chipping in helps in shaping the gin child’s future. Helping others in need comes naturally to them because they have witnessed others helping them.Single Parenting can be challenging especially because the parent has to take care of the child’s emotional needs along with countless other things. With their own mind in a turbulent state, while they are still grappling with the situation they have to put up a brave front to their children in order to ease their pain and pressure. Parents must take care of themselves, take professional counseling sessions if needed, because only if they can remain calm and composed in such testing times will their children be able to cope and understand the situation. The warmth, care and love of a parent can make all the difference